7 reasons why you shouldn’t rush into a relationship when meeting new people

Sometimes we intuitively feel that we have found “the one” from the very first moments of meeting them. And when there is “chemistry” between us, we want to close the distance as quickly as possible. But first impressions are often deceiving. It is impossible to get to know someone well in just one evening. You can only understand who someone really is by observing them and their actions in different circumstances. So, no matter how much you want to jump in head first, it’s important not to rush. After all, time can be a filter that helps you understand whether it’s worth developing the relationship or whether it’s better to stay away from the person.  

7 compelling arguments in favor of slow rapprochement

Relationships are a marathon, not a sprint. Rushing can prevent you from building a truly close relationship. Here are a few reasons why you shouldn’t rush things.

The “rose-colored glasses” effect

When we first meet someone, we tend to idealize them. Our brain produces such a powerful cocktail of happiness and joy hormones that it is simply impossible to assess the person objectively. In this state of euphoria, we may attribute non-existent virtues and stubbornly ignore flaws. But after a while, we start to think clearly again. And we can see the person as they really are — with all their pros and cons. 

If you rush things, you may be in for a bitter disappointment in the future. After all, it will turn out that you fell in love not with a real person, but with an ideal image that you yourself constructed. But if you get closer gradually, you will be able to soberly assess your new acquaintance and build a relationship based on truth rather than illusions. 

Mismatched values

In the first stage of getting to know each other, we discuss superficial topics: favorite movies and books, hobbies, work. But if you are interested in a long-term relationship, it is very important that you share the same views on more serious issues. If you rush into things, in a month’s time you may find that you and your partner are looking in different directions. And your relationship will simply have no future.

“Red flags” and hidden character traits

When they first meet someone, many people try to make a good impression. They often try to appear better than they really are. If a person pretends to be someone else, it will be difficult for them to keep up the act for long. That’s why time is the best lie detector. By observing a person’s behavior in different situations, you will learn much more about them than from their profile. 

Violation of personal boundaries 

The desire to get closer as quickly as possible often forces us to give up our usual lifestyle in order to spend every free minute together. But healthy relationships are only possible between self-sufficient individuals, not two halves that cannot exist without each other. Keeping your distance at first is primarily about respecting personal boundaries: both yours and your partner’s. After all, you probably don’t want love to turn into codependency.

Lack of emotional intimacy

“Chemistry” often makes us act quickly. But building a trusting relationship takes time. Many couples make the mistake of getting too close too quickly, skipping the stage of emotional connection. And then it turns out that you have nothing to talk about, because you only know the person superficially. If you slow down, you will have a chance to get to know your partner really well. After all, it is heart-to-heart conversations that help form the emotional foundation without which it is impossible to build a deep and sincere relationship.

Negative emotions

Often, the shattering of illusions feels like a catastrophe. But even more painful is a phenomenon known as ghosting. When a conversation partner disappears without explanation and does not get in touch, it can be very damaging to your self-esteem, especially if you have become attached to the person. Therefore, it is not worth opening your heart too quickly to someone who was a complete stranger yesterday. If you maintain a reasonable distance, such an act will cause much less damage to your peace of mind.

Deception

Rapid rapprochement at the very beginning of a relationship is a real gift for scammers. Fraudsters surround their victims with excessive attention, quickly confess their feelings, and rush things along in every way possible. And then they use them for their own purposes — for example, to get a girl in love to lend them a large sum of money “for medical treatment”. The story of the famous “Tinder swindler” clearly showed how easily a professional manipulator can gain trust.

But any legend, even the most elaborate one, inevitably begins to crack over time. These cracks can be inconsistencies in stories or changes in behavior — after all, it’s quite difficult to play the role of Prince Charming for months on end. Therefore, a slow rapprochement is also an opportunity to expose an unscrupulous person. 

Video chats — a bridge between online and offline

Online dating has many pitfalls. Often, lengthy correspondence creates a false sense of closeness. And there are more and more users who hide their true selves behind flattering photos and carefully crafted phrases. But there is good news. Video chats are free of most of these drawbacks. 

They save a lot of time: a ten-minute video call can replace a week of correspondence. When communicating in a random video chat, you can see and hear your conversation partner, almost as if in real life. Here, you will again have access to all the non-verbal cues that are so important when getting to know someone: gestures, facial expressions, intonation. You will be able to feel the person’s energy and understand how comfortable you are in each other’s company. And decide whether you want to continue this communication in real life. In addition, communicating in chat roulette does not oblige you to anything. If you don’t like the person you are talking to, you can simply press the “Next” button and in a few seconds the system will connect you with a new person.

Online video chats have a large and active audience, so the chances of meeting someone special here are very high. For example, Chatki webcam chat has a search by interests feature. You can select conversation partners who are close to your heart. And in CooMeet, the system connects users only with the opposite sex, which is definitely an advantage for those looking for romantic communication. And you can always be sure that on the other side of the screen is a real person, not a fake or a bot. After all, every girl on CooMeet must register and confirm her details. Chatki app does not have such strict requirements — here you can chat anonymously. 

Is it possible to find love online?

The experience of many couples confirms that it is entirely possible. Millions of people have found each other on the internet thanks to algorithms or chance encounters. Therefore, there is definitely no need to be afraid of building relationships online. The main thing is not to rush. After all, haste is not the best helper in matters of the heart. Enjoy the process of getting to know each other: gradually learn about each other, try different ways of communicating, and smoothly transition from online communication to real life. Give yourself time to open up and truly get closer.